Snap Out of It! and Bubble Aid

Loretta Castorini: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession.

Priest: What sins have you to confess?

Loretta Castorini: Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.

Priest: Then it's not a sin. But... what was that second thing you said, Loretta?

I was getting my Iggy ubber post fix yesterday, when I came across the thread he found about yet another multiple account incident. Following the thread I couldn't help thinking of Moonstruck. The poster's argument went something like this:

Poster: The online site has wonderful customer support because they investigated my suspicion that I had been cheated.

Poster: The online site verified that I was indeed cheated and also discovered that the players had been using multiple accounts to cheat me.

Poster: They paid me the money I was cheated out of and I'm happy.

What was that second thing, Loretta?


Snap out of it! You were cheated. The multi-billion dollar site only detected it after you suffered a three digit loss, were savvy enough to suspect it, and were motivated enough to report it. I know that multiple accounts are hard to detect. I know that sites have collusion algorithms. And I appreciate that this site investigated the allegation of cheating and made good on it. But that doesn't cut it for me. It seems to me that the sites are still dependent on the cheated for the bulk of their detection. It seems to me that we are doing all the work to try to win money and pay the rake. Am I the only one who doesn't think it's also my job to protect online poker's integrity? When are there going to be industry-wide blacklists? Can't this industry do more to protect me? Our gracious poster may settle for being cheated. I'm not that gracious.

I know we all are having this online love affair with online poker. But it should be like any other relationship. If you find yourself constantly being cheated on, it doesn't really matter how many times the other person apologizes. Even if the sex is great, they are still a cheater. Eventually you're going to opt out. Today's rant is officially over.


I was listening to my new Pandora station last night while playing the $10 Omaha hi/lo MTT on PokerStars. (OK. Yeah. I still haven't bitch slapped myself out of playing online) With a short stack and still 15 to go for the money, LA Carpool's latin influenced remake of Steely Dan's "Do it Again" popped up. Coincidently, the original rendition inspired my article about my bubble finish in the Omaha hi/lo at the Mid-America Poker Classic back in 2004. I am the consummate bubble girl. I even bubbled in the WSOP media event last year. Was I going to "Go back, Jack, do it again?"

It certainly seemed that way. When we went hand-for-hand, I was UTG with less than half a BB. I couldn't help bemoaning my fate. I chatted, "I sense a bubble finish pending." The SB limped? to face the BB heads-up. It left the SB with less than a bet left. The BB came to my rescue and reraised the SB. The SB called and lost and I made the money. The BB said, "You can thank me now." And I did.